Top Billing
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PUCK AROUND & FIND OUT — I
SET THE TONE Vancouver at Detroit. 5–1. And Vancouver showed up like the game was going to ease them into it. Detroit came out flying, finishing everything, and Vancouver spent the first stretch playing “let’s just get through the first ten.” YOU HAVE GOT TO SET THE TONE, BOYS!!!! Patrick Kane hits his 500th and…
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THE LINEUP
Monday Morning Regret
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Monday Morning Regret I
Monday Morning Regret is a weekly comedy sports desk written for the moment after the games are over, the adrenaline has worn off, and your group chat has started saying things it can’t defend in daylight. It doesn’t recap scores or argue takes. It processes what the week actually felt like, decides what mattered, and…
Shin Guard Chronicles
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Shin Guard Chronicles I
Shin Guard Chronicles isn’t a show, a thread, or a recap. It’s what happens after someone broke the Shin Guard Chronicles section of the site and never fixed it. The only thing still visible is the internal soccer group chat. Every week, that chat keeps running. Arguments start, opinions harden, links get dropped late, and…
Puck Around & Find Out
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Spare Parts #2
Set the Tone!!! The season’s barely breathing, boys, and someone already pissed on the thermostat. You see the Rangers this week? Seven-one over Jersey. Seven-one! That’s not a score — that’s a police report with highlights. Every shift looked like penance. Devils didn’t even know what rink they were in by the second. I’m watching…
Small Hoops, Tiny Plays, Big Feelings, Huge Ego
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SMALL HOOPS, TINY PLAYS, BIG FEELINGS, HUGE EGO — I
SMALL HOOPS, TINY PLAYS, BIG FEELINGS, HUGE EGO — I Bucket’s Street pOe: “Welcome to Bucket’s Street — the block where letters, numbers, shapes, colors, sounds, and feelings all learn basketball together.” pOe: “Boltsy?” Boltsy: “HI KIDS. Hi. Hi everybody. Today on Bucket’s Street the letter is… T.” Audience: “T!” Boltsy: “T like teamwork. T…
Not A Role Model
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Not a Role Model: Josh Allen
Josh Allen wasn’t sculpted in a quarterback lab. He was assembled where the wind is violent, the chores are mandatory, and the nearest sign of civilization is a tractor dealership 42 miles away. He’s a Wyoming kid — and Wyoming kids don’t grow up dreaming of being quarterbacks. They grow up dreaming of surviving winter,…
Boom Been Finessed
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Boom Been Finessed #1: A Buccaneer in Buffalo’s Frozen Waters
Every empire needs a storyteller, and Tampa’s been overdue for one who speaks in smoke, pride, and a little bit of unhinged sea-salt honesty. This column is the start of that. Around here, we don’t break down football the way polite TV shows do. In the Halfbak3d corner of the coast, the Buccaneers don’t just…
Tales From the Office
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Crypt Keeper Jerry: Episode Three – Outsmarting Failure
Jerry Jones sits back in his throne-chair—half executive leather, half ancient sarcophagus—and folds his hands like he’s about to announce the cure for losing. JERRY (big Texas showman drawl): “Well now… lemme tell y’all somethin’ important. Somethin’ ah learned one afternoon that changed mah whole philosophy. Ah outsmarted failure. Or… ah outwalked it. Or ah…
Side Quests
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Hartline, USF, and The Implication
USF just hired Brian Hartline, and I don’t think people fully understand what kind of fuse that lights. This isn’t a “nice hire.” This isn’t “good for the program.” This isn’t one of those moves where you squint and convince yourself there’s upside. This is a collision between a program that’s been quietly building momentum…
